A Simple Plan
by Tenshi no Sendo
Summary: This is a heavy Angst fic based on Mirai Trunks. Following the death of Bulma, Trunks has decided to end it all, but not before having a look at what his life could be like. Warning: Swearing, drug use, Self-harm. Trunks' POV Please review! Thanks
1. Journey Forward

Chapter 1  
  
I came back because I couldn't handle it anymore. Why here? Why now? I don't know myself, so I can't explain. I beat the androids and Cell in my time just over a year ago. The day before the anniversary. That's when my life changed. That's when I became truly alone. I'd already lost Gohan. But I still had my mother. Then I lost her. I lost everyone. I failed them. The androids took Gohan from me. And Cell stole my mother.  
  
Power. That's what it's all about. So for the past year, I've tried to live. I couldn't. I became weaker than I was. I gave in to the others. People offered me help. Ways out! Until one day I found the cure. Simple. I'm so weak!  
  
I decided that I wanted to see the man who would be my father one last time. That's where it all went wrong. I found the time machine. After getting supplies, I used it. There was nothing left for me there, except bad memories. This would be my last trip. I would never have to look back. I could be free. How naive I was. If only things were that simple!  
  
I arrived here. I don't know why I came to this time, out of all the possible times I could have come to. I suppose I wanted to be the younger one for a change. See what I could have become if I wasn't such a screw up. She always looked at me, expecting me to be the model citizen. Someone she would be proud to call her son. Ha!  
  
Now she'll see the real me. She'll take one look at me, scream, then tell me to get out! Father will be just the same. He won't even look at me. He'll just call me weak, then turn me away! I know this, yet I still want to see them. Show them that things can go wrong even if you're the son of the Saiyan prince.  
  
I got to their time. I suppose here I would be about 35 or something. It doesn't really matter though. I'm just here to see them for one last time. I can finally see Gohan. My sensei. My friend. The only one I've ever had. I know he isn't the one who trained me, but he's still Gohan. Hm, I suppose I don't care who he is. I just need to see him. I just want to see them all. Living, breathing humans, that I can recognise as they kick me off their land and tell me to leave! Well, I suppose there's no time like the present. Funny that!  
  
I didn't even need to go there! I suppose my father, NO, I mean, Vegeta could smell me from a mile off. The stench of failure reeks from my skin. I am a nothing, a nobody. I couldn't protect those I promised to protect. I let them die. I didn't stop him!  
  
'What do you want boy?' He's still the same.  
  
What do I want? I want to see them but I can't say that.  
  
'Well! I'm losing my patience.' When isn't he?  
  
The thought makes me smile. No, not smile. I haven't done that in years. The thought makes me smirk.  
  
'I suppose the woman would want to see you. Follow me!'  
  
What am I meant to do? Follow him so he can see how badly I fly now? Follow him so she can see what I'm like now?  
  
'Boy! Move!'  
  
I look up at him and notice a look I've never seen before. Even after spending a whole year with him in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. It scares me. It looks like he's worried! My father, the prince of all Saiyans, the most powerful race in the universe, worried! He lands next to me and looks at me. It's un-nerving. He looks at my face, causing me to look away.  
  
'What have you done to yourself?'  
  
I can't stand this anymore so I make to walk off. A hand clamps down on my shoulder causing me to flinch away.  
  
'Come on.... son. I'll take you back home and you can rest!'  
  
With that, he grabbed onto my waist and takes off, holding me.  
  
I don't understand what's going on. I mean, why is he doing this? He's meant to see me, feel repulsed, call me weak, and kick me out. What's happening?  
  
'We're here.'  
  
We're where? I didn't even notice where he'd taken me. We're inside. In Capsule Corps. He's landed and moves me so he's cradling me in his arms. What the hell's going on? This isn't the Vegeta I know. He's cold. He's serious. He's not like this. He never cares about anything, except himself. So why's he like this? He takes me up some stairs. I can't feel anyone else's Ki. The house must be empty. He's taken me into the bathroom and stands me up on the ground. At least, he tries to. For some reason, my legs don't seem to want to work. My legs collapse from underneath me and I begin to fall, only to be caught by the man in front of me. He slowly lowers me to the ground.  
  
'Wait here, and I'll be back in a moment'  
  
He looks back at me before he leaves with sorrow in his eyes. I don't have to see it, I can feel it. This isn't him. This isn't the real Vegeta. I hear him leave without even waiting for an answer. What would I say anyway? It's not like I can go anywhere! I can hear him walking down the corridor. A door opening and footsteps enter the room. A videophone being started. He's making a call. The voice. It seems familiar to me. A woman is on the other end. He hangs up the phone and walks out the room. He doesn't come here. He goes off further down the hall. He's out of my hearing range now. Sure, if I were still the Trunks they know, then listening to him would be a walk in the park. But that's not me anymore. I have no need for that life anymore. It's not like I can lose anyone else. That's why I shut off. Became who I am. If I let anyone close, they'll only get hurt!  
  
It's been a while since he left. A few minutes since he hung up the phone. But he's coming back. I can finally hear his footsteps. He's walking up the hall, back to here.  
  
I should leave, but I can't. I've done half of what I wanted to do here. Now I've only got to see her. Then I can go back and get it over and done with. No one there to miss me. No one here will know. No one gives a fuck about me, and that's best. For them, and for me.  
  
He's outside the door but he hasn't come in. What's he waiting for? He's breathing heavily and muttering something in Saiyan. I only know it's Saiyan because I've heard him talk it before. I don't remember when. I think it was when we were in the time chamber. He only spoke it when he thought I couldn't hear, and..... Why? Why are these memories coming back? Especially now. That must mean that it's time. Already? But I only did it a few hours ago. I shouldn't have to do it for ages! The handle on the door starts to turn. Shit, he's coming in! I can't do this anymore. I need to take it, but I can't do it with him here. He walks in and looks at me. Yet again, his gaze makes me turn away.  
  
'Trunks. Your mother is coming back early. I have to go and get her'  
  
He walks across the bathroom and places a pile of clothes and towels by the bath.  
  
'Go have a bath. I've got some clothes for you. I'm going to collect her'  
  
He leaves. I don't get what just happened, but he's going. That means I can... I try to struggle to my feet, failing miserably. Gripping onto the side of the bath, I pull myself to my feet. This would all be so much easier if I just gave into it. Well, why not? I've gotta have at least one shot on me! Finding three sticks, I take two and put the other one back in my pocket. I sit back down on the floor and place the sticks down in front of me. I undo the sleeve on my left arm and roll it back. Shit! My arm looks like a fucking chessboard. My arm. The results of 'flame'. Ha, This is only half of what I deserve. Before anyone gets back, I pick up a stick and inject it into my arm. I nimbly swap arms and inject the other. And Suchi says one is enough! I suppose he wasn't expecting his best customer to be a fucking alien. The thought makes me laugh. My empty laugh echoes around the huge bathroom. It sounds foreign coming from me, so I stop immediately. I have to get rid of the empties. Can't let them know! So I do the only thing I can, I burn them. Only need a small Ki blast and they're gone. I watch as the thin red tubes turn black, and disappear. I've never been a fan of baths. I slowly begin to stand up and I turn on the shower. Flame is making its way around my body. Burning, ingesting, consuming every ounce of pain that I feel. So now, I forget. I forget all my troubles, all my pain. I'm finally happy! I get undressed and get in the shower.  
  
'Trunks! I know you're in there. Make yourself decent. I'm coming in!'  
  
I was to busy thinking about the sensation running through my body to notice that someone was coming. The door burst's open and someone walks in.  
  
'Trunk's, I know it's you. You can stop suppressing your Ki!' I try to say something but all I can do is cough.  
  
'Please Trunks. I've got something to say and I want you to hear it while you can't stop me!' Well, I guess she's right there. I can't exactly retaliate!  
  
'Trunks, you know last night, when we went to the fair. I told you how I felt. You said that nothing could happen. Then you flew off. I want to know what happened! I love you. We've been friends for ages! But you ran. I thought our friendship meant more than that to you!'  
  
She stopped talking. I guess I should say something, but I don't want to upset her.  
  
'Uncle Vegeta and Aunt Bulma are coming. I guess I'd better take that as a cue to leave! Goodbye Trunks. If you value our friendship, you'll know what to do!'  
  
With that, her Ki signature suddenly disappears. That was weird, but I guess I'll have to talk to her. She said all that thinking I was him! I'll have to ask Bulma about it.  
  
Shit, she said they were on their way back. I'd better get out and get changed. I jump out of the shower and quickly dry myself and throw on some pants. Damn it. I went to put on one of the shirts, but they've all got short sleeves. I have to hide the truth from them. I can't exactly put on my old shirt so I put the new one on. Over that, I put on my black CC jacket. Well, I guess that's the next best thing! Just in time, because at that moment, I finally sense Vegeta's power level approaching the door. Damn, I knew I was REALLY out of practice, but I thought I could still at least sense Ki to a level. I walk over to the door, taking my old clothes with me, and open it. I suppose I must have surprised him, especially after him seeing me the way I was before.  
  
'Your mother wishes to speak to you. Follow me.'  
  
Well, so much for him being surprised! I follow him slowly along the corridor, and down the stairs. Before I even manage to look around, Bulma rushes up to me and pulls me into a backbreaking hug.  
  
'Trunks, you're here! I've missed you so much. How've you been?'  
  
What the hell's going on here? This isn't meant to happen! She's meant to hate me. She's meant to kick me out. She's meant to.... She's meant to  
  
'Trunks. What's happened to you?' She looks more worried than anything.  
  
'Why?' I whisper. That's all I can do or say!  
  
'Trunks, you look like you need to get some rest. Are you OK? I mean, you look really pale.' She didn't hear me. I don't know if that's a good thing.  
  
'Woman, stop babying the boy. Trunks, stand up!' Stand up! I didn't even notice we'd sat down. I force myself onto my feet, keeping my head down.  
  
'Vegeta. He needs rest!' She sounds like she's pleading with him.  
  
'Bulma, I'm taking him upstairs to the guest room!'  
  
Suddenly, I'm pulled into yet another hug, though not as hard as before. 'Have a good rest son!'  
  
I turn to look at her and raise my head up to see her face. She's smiling at me. I didn't smile back. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I just turn back around and follow Vegeta back up the stairs and to the guest room. He walks up to a door and waits for me to catch up. When I reach him, he looks at me. It's the same look he gave me when he told me to follow him to CC.  
  
'Have a good sleep, son' He walks off, leaving me to my thoughts. I walk into the room and look for the bed. It's over in the far left corner. Making my way there I pull off my jacket and shirt and collapse onto the bed. I'm asleep before my head hit's the pillow. 


	2. Sparring

Chapter 2  
  
I wake up to a smell I haven't smelt in ages. The smell of mom's cooking. Hey, I suppose it's not great, but it makes a change from cold cans of the shit in stores. I get out of bed and shove on my old shirt and jacket. Then I head out the door and down the stairs. This has to be the first time I've been hungry in ages. When I get to the kitchen, Bulma is setting down the food on the table. She looks up at me and invites me over. I head over and take a seat. Bulma places an empty plate in front of me.  
  
'Help yourself' Don't mind if I do! I start piling food onto my plate and eat it as only a Saiyan can.  
  
'Boy! We spar now!' Looking around, I see Vegeta only inches behind me.  
  
'I can't.' I say nervously. Of course I can't spar. I haven't trained since mother was….  
  
'We spar NOW!' He pulls me by the neck of my jacket and drags me off to the Gravity Machine. Throwing me in, he slams the door shut and walks towards the gravity selector.  
  
'Well boy, how does 100G sound. Just to start with. Not too much for a weak druggie like you, eh?' Shit, how does he know?  
  
As if he heard me he moves till he's merely inches away from my face.  
  
'Do you think I'm blind?' I shake my head, and he heads back to the controls.  
  
'Prepare yourself then boy!' He switches on the gravity then transforms to a Super Saiyan 2. All I can do is collapse onto my front as 100 times Earths gravity weighs down on my already weak body.  
  
'Get up boy! You can do better than this.' He's trying to intimidate me, and I guess it's working. I try to force myself to stand up, but it's not working.  
  
'Does the baby need his mommy?' He's started mocking me.  
  
'Come on you useless junkie. Get moving.' He then launches himself at me, full speed and kicks me in my ribs. The force of the kick lifts me into the air where I am greeted by a two handed slam in my back, propelling me back to the ground. I land on my feet and fall into a crouch. Both my feet and hands are used to try and keep me from falling back to the floor.  
  
I start to try and power up, but he's too fast and he launches a Big Bang attack at me. I didn't even see him charge the attack. I try to defend against it by increasing my power level and putting up a Ki shield, but I still get injured.  
  
When the dust clears, I can see him frowning at me. Now is my best chance. I start to power up. He could stop me, but he wants to have a proper match, and at the moment, it's sort of one sided! I start to concentrate my power. It hurts. My body's going through something it hasn't gone through for a whole year. The power's building up inside of me, waiting for a release. Suddenly, something clicks and I transform. Finally, I've transformed into a Super Saiyan once again.  
  
'It's about time boy, now go to the next level!' The next level! I can't go any further. I suppose I would have been able to if I had continued training, but there isn't really a point anymore.  
  
'I… I can't'  
  
'Fine, but don't come crying to me after I beat you!' With that, he flies towards me. As I'm at SSJ, I can see him move, but barely. His new level's amazing. It's a lot faster and stronger than mine. I can't believe it. I mean, he was holding back on his last attack, but it was still strong enough to get through my defences. Only one thing for it, I'm going to have to try and defend myself until I find an opening in his defences. He launches a series of punches and kicks at me. I block almost all of them. The few that do make it through cause more damage that I've ever felt before. I try to throw a punch but all my fist meets is air. I sense a large build-up of Ki from above me. Looking up, I see Vegeta glowing with a purple aura. He's charging up a Galick Gun attack. It isn't his most powerful attack so I prepare to counter it. I focus all of my power into an attack I haven't used in ages, the Kamehameha. As I charge the attack, memories come flooding back to me, mainly of Gohan, my sensei. I remember him teaching me this technique when I first began training with him. I can feel my fathers attack increasing in power to counteract my own. I try to increase mine but it's not working. He then launches his attack at me. It's getting close and even though my attack isn't as strong, it should neutralise some of his attack. I hope! My Kamehameha meets his Galick Gun, and for a second, the two attacks stop mid-air. Suddenly, there is a bright light as an explosion takes place. The light fades and I lower my hand away from my face, only to notice my father's Galick Gun is about a meter away from me and closing rapidly. There's nothing I can do to stop it so I raise my arms to shield my face.  
  
Cracking. Pain. Darkness. I am on the ground, forced upright by the wall. I suppose the attack must have forced me backwards. Regaining the use of my limbs, I try to stand up, only to fall back to the floor. I can feel a sharp pain in my chest. Looking down at my body, I can see a few of my ribs coming through my shirt. My left leg seems to be bending in an unnatural way, and my arms are bleeding abundantly. On the floor, I can see a pool of my own blood, formed from not only my arms, but also my chest. I try to turn my head to look at my father, but the pain in my head is tremendous. Reaching up with my right arm, I touch the top of my head. The second I touch my head I cringe. I lower my hand and notice it's covered in blood.  
  
'Boy, change back!' He lands in front of me and looks down at me. 'I don't fight pathetic weaklings like you. I destroy them!' He suddenly takes off back into the air and starts to power-up yet another Ki attack. I force myself to look up, despite the pain. He's charging again. Not only is he increasing his own power level, he's also glowing with a bright golden charge, created for his next attack. He stops charging after a few seconds and looks down at me. His fists are clenched at his side, and he has a smirk on his face. Bringing his arms upwards, he starts to prepare the attack. His two arms are stretched out either side of his body. In each hand a powerful ball of energy forms. He places his two wrists together in front of him causing the two balls of energy to merge, and slowly raises it so it's pointing towards me. Then he extends his arms out while the ball of Ki grows between his cupped hands. He begins shouting as the ball of energy increase in power until it's overwhelming. If he throws this at me, there's no way I can survive this. He launches the attack.  
  
'FINAL FLASH!!!' 


	3. Laundry

Chapter 3  
  
'ARGH!!!' I sit bolt upright. Where am I? I'm in my bed? What's going on? Was that a dream? Standing up, I walk over to the sink in the room and look in the mirror. Checking over my chest, I see that there aren't any injuries. What the fuck's going on? It was a dream! Huh, that's the first time I've had a dream in ages. Especially one like that! I shiver, which makes me notice that I'm covered in a cold sweat. Grabbing a flannel, I wet it and wipe myself down with it. I toss it back into the sink and go over to my jacket. I know there's one in here I saw it earlier. Ah ha, found you! Feeling the cold plastic and metal tube between my fingers, I pull out my last stick on me and inject it. I collapse back onto the bed and fall asleep immediately.  
  
Pulling the covers off of me I smell something I haven't smelt in ages. The smell of mom's cooking. Well, it makes a change from cold cans of the shit in stores. I get out of bed and shove on my old shirt and jacket. Then I head out the door and down the stairs. This has to be the first time I've been hungry in ages. I guess I must've had a bad night. When I get to the kitchen, Bulma is setting down the food on the table. She looks up at me and invites me over. I head over and take a seat. Bulma places an empty plate in front of me.  
  
'Help yourself' Something strange is going on here. I've got the weirdest feeling of Déjà vu!  
  
'Boy! Outside now!' Looking around, I see Vegeta only inches behind me. This is getting weirder. I don't know where I've seen this before. I guess that's my fault. Well, mine and Flame!  
  
'I'm eating. Can't it wait?'  
  
'TRUNKS!' He pulls me by the neck of my jacket and drags me outside.  
  
'Boy, what is this?' He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small tube. Shit, where'd he find that? It's one of my empties. I thought I destroyed them. Guess not! Damn, it makes sense now! I must've had a bad night last night and taken a stick. Fuck, and he found the empty coz I would've gone straight back to bed.  
  
'Tell me! I found this in your room last night.' He was in my room?  
  
'What were you doing in there?'  
  
'The woman wanted me to check if you were all right. We heard you shouting last night!' That means I was right.  
  
'Well!' He still wants to know what it is! Shit, what do I say?  
  
'It's….. So I can sleep! I've had some bad nights for a while now, so the doc gave me that!' He eventually nods at me. Good, he brought it!  
  
'Let's go back inside and eat!' He doesn't wait for a response as he walks into the house. I shrug my shoulders and follow him in. Following him to the table, I sit back in my seat and continue to eat the food on my plate. Soon enough, I've finished my 4th serving and drank my 9th cup of coffee. Vegeta is still finishing his 6th plate of food as I get up to help with the dishes.  
  
'Boy, cleaning is a woman's job!' As usual, he's being a chauvinistic arsehole. I turn to pick up a few more plates, but Bulma takes them from my hands.  
  
'You don't need to do that Trunks!' It's not like I have anything better to do.  
  
'Why don't you go over to see Gohan? I'm sure he'll want to see you. Besides, I have to finish off some very important work today, and your father…. Well, he'll more than likely be in the Gravity Chamber all day, as usual!'  
  
'Won't he be busy or something?' I want to see him, but I don't want to get in the way!  
  
'Oh, don't worry. Gohan's a teacher now and it's school holiday's.' Well, I guess that answered my question. Oh well, I guess I might as well get it over and done with now.  
  
'Well, it's probably best to go and see him after lunch. He's normally busy in the morning with Goten!' Goten? Who's Goten? I guess Vegeta must have noticed the puzzled look on my face because he then proceeded to answer my question.  
  
'Goten is Kakarot's youngest brat!' Well, that explains that then! I nod my head in acknowledgment. I guess I might as well go. It's not like I've got anything better to do anyway! Making my way into the lounge, Bulma follows me in.  
  
'Trunks, did you want to go and get some new clothes?' She looks down at what I'm wearing. It's the same things I wore yesterday and to bed. I shake my head.  
  
'It's all right. I've got more clothes upstairs. I just forgot to get changed this morning. That's all!' She smiles at me in agreement.  
  
'Fine. But if you need anything, just ask. Bra would be more than happy to take you shopping.' Again, a new name!  
  
'Bra is our youngest child!' And yet again, he's the one explaining. Strangely enough, that didn't come as much of a surprise to me. I shake my head as an answer to Bulma and head upstairs to get changed.  
  
When I reach my makeshift room, I head in and empty my clothing capsule onto the bed. Looking down at the pile of clothes the first thing I notice is that my entire wardrobe is black. Next thing I notice is the smell. I haven't done my laundry in months. It's more a case of, if the clothing can still be worn, I wear it! I guess I'll be forced to take up Bulma's offer when she sees the state of my clothes. Well, I can hear her making her way here. As predictable as ever! 3, 2, 1…  
  
'Trunks, I just came to see… Whoa! Trunks, Erm, what's that smell?' How did I know? I grin before turning around to face her. My mask back in place!  
  
'That… would be my dirty laundry!' I try to seem sincere, but I fail miserably.  
  
'Hun, what's going on? Why are your clothes in this state? Why hasn't the other me cleaned them? Or you?' The thought of my real mother causes an old pain to resurface in my heart. I cringe inwardly.  
  
'Trunks?' I suppose I'd better give her an answer.  
  
'Well, mother and I have been busy helping the others, so we haven't had much time to do anything else. And all the robots are kinda damaged!' Buy it, buy it, buy it! She nods her head. She brought it!  
  
'Well, I suppose your going to have to go shopping then!' She has a smug grin on her face. I look at her, puzzled. She shakes her head, as if to say, it's nothing.  
  
'I'll just go tell Bra that you need to go clothes shopping. Meet her downstairs in 5 minutes.' She then leaves the room. I follow her to the door and shut it behind her. Then I search my clothing pile to find my hidden capsule. I eventually find it hidden in the sleeve of one of my shirts. Keeping an ear open for people approaching the room, I open the capsule.  
  
It pops open to reveal a black case, no bigger than a couple of shoeboxes. Opening the lid of the case, I reach inside and pull out a handful of the contents. Anyone who knew the real me would know what I was doing, but luckily, they're oblivious to it all! That makes it so much easier! I count out four sticks of Flame and out the rest back in the box. Re-capsulating the box, I open my storage capsule and hide it in there. I have a feeling Bulma will want to throw out my old clothes so I've gotta hide my supply. I re-capsulate my clothes bag and my storage box and place them in the capsule case.  
  
Then I head to the bathroom to 'get ready'. As I reach the bathroom, my hand instinctively reaches to pull up my sleeves. I walk into the bathroom, lock the door and stand by the sink. Looking at my arm, I continue to pull my sleeve back and look at my arm. The marks look even worse in daylight. Tracing my hand along the largest one, I start to remember the cause of the jagged, violent looking scar. 


	4. Memory

Chapter 4  
  
It was the 16th, the day of the anniversary. The day my life finally turned into the shit hole that it is now. My mother was killed the day before by the creature Cell. I didn't know he was there. If I had, if things were different, she'd still be here. I could have stopped him! He destroyed her before I got back. When I got there, I destroyed him. He was laughing at me as I killed him. When I got back into the house, I found out why. I saw my mothers' body. He didn't drain her energy. That wouldn't have hurt me the same way. No, he stabbed her through the heart.  
  
I saw her body, sitting in an armchair as if she was just watching the television. There was a cup of coffee on the table next to her, and she had a newspaper sitting with her reading glasses there too. She had a shocked expression on her face and there was a single tear running down her cheek. I stumble backwards until I hit the wall and slid down it. I sat there all day and through the night, just… Watching. Expecting her to just stand up and say it was just some cruel joke. But she didn't move, and she wasn't going to. I couldn't feel her life energy anymore. I knew she was gone.  
  
The sun rose the next day, causing a bright light to penetrate it's way into the lounge. It seemed wrong, considering what had happened the day before. I eventually tore my gaze away from her body and stood up. I headed upstairs and went into my mothers' bedroom where I got her a change of clothes from her wardrobe. I then went to the bathroom to collect some bandages and a cloth. I went back downstairs with the items and headed to the lounge. The smell of blood was in the air as I placed the items down on the floor next to my mothers' body. Going to the kitchen, I filled a bowl with water and headed back. I couldn't look at my mothers face anymore so I covered it with her jacket. I grabbed some scissors from the kitchen and cut her clothes off, the blood making them cling to her body. I then proceeded to clean her up, bandage her, and change her clothes. After I'd finished, I cleaned up the mess and went outside.  
  
The back yard was home to the graves of all the others that had been lost over the past 18 years. Since the explosion while I was away, the number of graves had increased. All the others had died when Kamesenin house fell on them after an attack. My grandparents had both died a few weeks ago due to old age. My mother was the only one I had left. But now she's gone! I stood there, looking at the graves for a few minutes before setting about doing what I went there for. To the side of my fathers' grave, I began to dig a new hole. I could have blasted a hole, but to me, it meant more to dig one myself. After I'd finished, I went to the storage room and collected my mothers coffin. It's weird! After the rest of the Z squad was destroyed, mother had coffins made for everyone. I guess she didn't have much faith in Gohan and me. No, that's wrong! She had faith in me! She never made me a coffin. She obviously expected me to make it! I guess she was right, but I don't know how much longer!  
  
Going back inside, I opened the coffin and placed my mothers corpse inside. After that, I took it outside and buried it. I couldn't stand it there any more. I had to go! But I first grabbed the scissors that I'd used for my mother. Then, I flew off, not caring where I ended up! I hated this existence. It felt surreal. I couldn't tell weather this pain I was feeling was real so I wanted to feel a pain I was in control of. I cut. I cut while I flew. I flew until I had no power left to fly. I bleed until I was sick. I cried until I collapsed. Landing, I found myself in the slums of an old ruined city. Well, I didn't exactly land, more plummeted downwards. I must've been noticed because when I eventually got back up, I found myself on a bed indoors. Turning my head, I noticed a figure in the dark. The figure turned out to be Sengen, the sister of Kagutsuchi, the one who found me. The rest was a blur. All I remember is being told of another way to numb the pain, Flame! Like a coward, I took it, and I kept taking it for months. It helped for a while, but my body needed more. My body wasn't craving for more of the drug; it was craving to feel more. More of the environment, more of my surroundings, more! I eventually found out the 'more' that I wanted. She didn't like the fact I'd introduced myself as Iki-Ryo, but she carried on as if I'd given her a different name. The name, it's the truth. All I do is harm those around me. Despite that, she wouldn't leave me. I guess she thought that I'd change after it happened. I didn't! Despite that, they didn't abandon me. They couldn't, my business was too important to them I guess. Thanks to my mother, I could afford to be their number one customer.  
  
The last time I went to see Suchi, Sengen cornered me. She asked me a question that I still can't answer fully! Why do I do this? I doubt I'll ever have an answer to that. In a way, I do it so I can feel alive, even though I'm already dead inside. I couldn't tell her that, but she wanted an answer. That's when I decided to finish it all. I think she knew what I was planning. She knew about the journeys I'd taken through time. I don't remember how she knew, but she did. She told me to go back there and talk to someone. Well, Sengen, I've taken your advice. Now what?  
  
Authors Note: Hey, my first A/N for this fic! Anyway, I'll keep it short.  
Just for anyone who want's to know, the names used in this chapter are based on Japanese Mythology. As I remember Kagutsuchi was the God of Fire. Sengen was the Blossom Princess. And Iki-Ryo was the harmful spirit of anger and envy.  
Anyway, enjoy, and Please Review!!! CC is loved! XD 


	5. Shopping

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! Very happy Hope you're all enjoying the fic. Anyway, here's the next chapter, plenty more to come! Please review.

Chapter 5  
  
A knocking on the door brings me out of my daydream.  
  
'Trunks honey, are you ready yet? Bra's waiting for you downstairs.' I guess she's trying to tell me to get a move on.  
  
'Yeah, I'll just be a minute.' I yell, while rushing to change.  
  
'Ok, I've got to get going so I'll see you later. Bye' I can hear her walking away from the door. I'm finally alone, and I won't have an interruption. I guess that means it's time! Pulling two sticks from my old clothes pile, I nimbly inject a stick in each arm. I don't have the sudden rush that I used to feel. I guess my body has gotten used to Flame by now, but I still get the final effects. I feel a heat rushing from my arms, to my heart. Within seconds, the heat bursts outwards and warms my body throughout. Next comes the best part. My memories are locked away. My pain and suffering hide away so I can act like a normal kid. Ha, yeah right, me normal! I sit down on the floor for a few seconds to get my head together before destroying the tubes and heading out the bathroom. Before I leave to go downstairs, I take my capsules and my other two sticks, and conceal them in the clothing I am wearing. I chuck my old clothes onto my bed as I pass the room to head downstairs.  
  
'Trunks?' I reach the main room as I hear a young female voice calling my name. Turning around, I find the source of the sound. A girl, about my age with straight green hair and light green eyes.  
  
'Erm, you must be Bra?' I'm guessing this must be her! She looks a lot like Bulma, but with Vegeta's eyes. She nods her head, slightly weary of the fact that a carbon copy of her elder brother as a teenager is standing in front of her.  
  
'So, you're taking me shopping then!' I try to lighten the mood, but to no avail.  
  
'Erm, you don't mind if my friend comes with us as well, do you?' She says, in a barely audible voice.  
  
'No, of course not. Go ahead!' I've tried to make her more comfy by being more open, but it's not working, o I guess I'll just go back to normal then.  
  
As if from nowhere, another girl appears in the room. I've felt this Ki before. It's the girl from the shower. She appears and walks over to Bra. The second Bra noticed Pan she seemed to relax. Am I really that scary?  
  
'Pan! How's it going? Are you coming as well?' Bra starts acting how I guess teenage girls are meant to. Well, it seems that Pan's just as confused as me by the sudden change in Bra's attitude.  
  
'Hey, What's up?' She asks, confused. Bra edges her way away from me and towards Pan.  
  
'Nothing. Shall we go?' She says, while latching onto Pan's arm, and dragging her to the front door. Shrugging my shoulders, I follow the girls out.  
  
I guess I can't blame her for the way she was towards me. It's the way Bulma and Vegeta should have been. I guess they could hide it better because they've met the old me before. Bra's only met her brother, so I guess both parts hit her at once. Well, this looks like a fun day! I'm stuck with two girls that I've never met before. One is my sister, and one is in love with my other self. And to cap it off, I'm going clothes shopping with them. Joy!  
  
'Hey Trunks! Erm, about what I said the other day. You know I thought you were the other Trunks?' Pan fell back to talk to me. Of course I knew she was talking about the other me. Why would she say things like that to me? It's not like she even knows me. But deep down, I guess I was hoping. Just so someone would care when I leave, and not out of pity! Man, I just noticed how even in my head I sound pathetic.  
  
Damn, she's still waiting for an answer. I nod my head as a reply, causing her to smile at me. Wow, she's got a really nice smile. Stop! Stop that. You're not meant to give a damn about the others here. Only a few more days until I leave, and its over, finally!  
  
We head out of Capsule Corp. compound and to the main road, where Bra pops a capsule containing a small, four seated, yellow helicopter. We all get in. Bra is upfront, so I go to the back. I don't want to make her any more uncomfortable that she already is. I notice that Pan has sat in the back with me. I hope she doesn't expect me to talk or anything. I don't really do things like that anymore. Bra then starts the engine and takes off. I spend the whole journey looking out if the window. The few time I look inside, I catch Pan looking at me. I don't understand what's happening. She knows who I really am, so why won't she understand that nothing's going to happen?  
  
Eventually, Bra lands the craft, signalling that we've arrived. I think Pan noticed that I saw her watching me because she jumped out of the copter the second it touched the ground. After I got out, Bra exited the copter and capsulated it. We then headed towards the shopping centre.  
  
It's gonna be hell. Spending a whole day with two girls that are scared of you for two different reasons. One is scared of the fact that I look like her brother, and one is scared of the fact I know how she feels about the other me. Oh well, might as well get it over and done now, or I'll get forced to do it another day.  
  
I've pretty much spent the whole day on autopilot. I just follow the girls around as they picked out clothing. I don't even need to try anything on. Somehow Bra can tell my sizes by just looking at me. It feels like she has a sixth sense for it. I eventually snap out of it as it starts. The freeze! My body's been trying to hold out for the whole day. What can I say? It failed! Half a day and it starts. I start getting tired. But I've got no way out. I have to hold on. I wait until Bra has gone into yet another store with Pan. I don't think they noticed me leaving. I get out of there as quickly as possible and head to the toilets. They can't find me in there. They won't know. I hope!  
  
Relief! It takes a while for it to spread through my entire body. I guess it's because I waited so long before re-dosing. Looking at my watch, I notice that it's almost 5. Kuso! I've been in here for over 20 minutes. They're probably wondering where I am. Not that they'll even care. It's only because of Bulma forcing them that they even came today. Well, not even that. Pan only came because Bra forced her. I guess Bra didn't want to be stuck alone with the messed up, washed out, younger version of her idolised older brother! Oh well, as I know all too well, Shit happens!!!  
  
I went outside to try and find the others. I guess I was right. They were trying to find me. From the look of it, I think we're finally done. It's about time. I can finally get out of here. I follow the two girls back to the car park where Bra decapsulates the Copter. Getting in, I can feel that the tension has increased. Probably can't wait to get home so they can get the hell away from me. The trip home is in silence, yet again. Halfway there, Pan suddenly sits up.  
  
'Bra, do you mind if I get out now. I can sense Dad!' Gohan…. Focusing on it, I start to feel his Ki. The familiarity of the Ki hits me harder than I thought it would. I finally understand that I'm truly alone.  
  
'Sure. I'll speak to you tonight.' With that, Pan opens the door and jumps out. I watch as she turns back and closes the door, before flying off towards one of the buildings below. I suddenly feel the urge to follow Pan so that I can see Gohan. I'm stuck. I want to see Gohan, but Pan is uncomfortable around me. I don't want to upset her so I try to focus my mind on other things. I suddenly find that the floor of the Copter has a 'very' interesting pattern.  
  
10 agonising minutes later, we're finally back. I get out of the Copter and Bra capsulates it. Heading back into the house, Bra tosses me the capsules before heading upstairs to her room. I guess I upset her too. I'm good at that! I head into the main living room where I find Bulma sitting with a cup of tea in her hand. Watching her for a moment, I can't help but feel sad that I'll never get to see my mother like that again. I turn to leave the room. As I near the door, Bulma catches sight of me and calls me over to sit with her.  
  
'Oh, hey Son. How are you feeling today?' At that, I turn back around to face her. I try to smile at her but I can't. I settle for nodding my head.  
  
'Would you like a cup of tea? Coffee? Anything?' She stands up and moves towards me. I feel rooted to the ground. It's been too long! I didn't think I'd take it this badly. As she gets closer I can feel myself shivering under her gaze.  
  
'Trunks, are you alright?' What can I say? I could lie, but I know her. No, I know the other her, my mother! But this is my mother as well. How similar are they?  
  
'Trunks?' Kuso, how long was I thinking for?  
  
'I'm fine' I lie. I don't get a chance to see if she buys it, because next thing I know, there's a knock at the door. Bulma looks at me for a second before heading to the door to answer it. Extending my Ki, I try to sense who it is before I see them. I get as far as sensing that there is a group of them before the door is opened and I notice who's there.  
  
Not now! I'm not ready yet! I can't see him yet. But I guess it's too late for that. He's seen me. They all have. It's kind of hard to not notice me standing there. I stand out too much here. I don't belong. I shouldn't have come back. I should have, I should've…  
  
'Son' I hear a whisper in my ear. 'Come with me. We will talk.' As strange as it seems, that didn't seem like an order. I turn to face the voice, but the owner has already left. I turn back to face the new group, but Bulma catches my eye first. She nods and smiles a sad smile. They know. They both do! I guess I'm not that good at hiding it.

Again! Please Review! XD


	6. Changes

A/N: Thanks everyone who's reviewed. I'm glad you're liking this one, despite what it's about! Anywho, here's a fresh chapter for you all. Hope you like it too, and please review.

It's been almost an hour since the "talk". His words are still seeping into my head. He wants to help? He wants to…fix me? I'm not something he can fix! There's no way to help someone beyond help, is there? He left me by the lake, understanding that I needed the time. I'm amazed he left, knowing what I am.

A rush of air is my first warning. Unable to sense his ki, the hand on my shoulder makes me jump. He squeezed my shoulder gently, before taking a seat next to me. We sit in silence for a while, the only sound is that of myself breathing heavily, still trying to calm myself back down.

'Trunks…' I turn away slowly, wanting to curl up into myself. Why do they care? Why do any of them care? I don't know what happened, but all I know is that strong arms have wrapped round me, pulling me into their warmth. I doubt I'd be able to leave them even if I wanted to.

'We all care about you. We don't want to loose you.' An arm loosens itself, beginning to stroke my back, comforting, warm, safe. I wish I could believe that, but it's too hard. If they cared so much for me, they would've stayed there. They could've stopped Cell. Saved her…

My head is tilted up, my eyes forced to lock in on his face. The only person I've ever been able to confide in. The only one I've ever trusted. He's watching me, the silence stretching between us. Something in his gaze makes me want to break down my walls, unlock the gates and let everything out. But I can't. There's no way I'd tell him, tell any of them.

His gaze turns sad as I pull away, my gaze drops to the grass. I tried. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it. Not anymore. The arms tighten round me once more, drawing me into a warm lap where I curl up. I don't know why I'm acting like such a kid, I just am. I want this even though I don't deserve it.

'Trunks, stop it.' I look up, seeing a sight I never wanted to see again. Someone's crying because of me. Silent tears roll down his face as I watch him in shock. One of the most powerful fighters in the universe, and he's crying because of me.

I look back to the floor, unable to believe that he's crying for me. I'm worthless. He shouldn't have to feel this way because of me. I can feel him shaking still, trying to hold back his tears.

A sob tears from his throat, causing my head to snap up, eyes locking to his face. His eyes have puffed up, red, raw, all because of me… His head hangs, fists clench. I can even feel his Ki fluctuating around us.

I tried to pull away, but I didn't get far. The more I struggled, the tighter the grip on me got. I collapsed against his chest, tears falling without my consent. This is why I left my own time, but it's happening here too. Only this time, it's not Sengen, it's Son Gohan.

I'm hurting the people I care most for. I came to this time to get things over and done with, not to get attached again. He wraps his arms around me and for the first time in ages, I feel safe, comfortable. But I can't stay there. I don't deserve it.

'Don't. Please Trunks.' The arms refuse to let me go, but I knew that'd happen before I even tried. I need to get away though. All I'm doing here is causing pain. Why? Why do they even care about me after what I did? It's my fault, all my fault. I wasn't there and now she's gone. They've all gone.

'Tell me…what happened? Why are you….?' His voice breaks as he whispers to me, pleading to be let in. I can't though. I can't let him know about my failure. I can't pull him down to my level. I feel his arms tighten around me, almost as if in response to my own thoughts. The feeling brings me some comfort, but I still know I can't tell him.

'Please, I want to know. I want to help.' His grip loosens slightly and I know it's his way of showing he doesn't want to force me into telling, but it still feels that way. I know he'll carry on asking until he knows, but that means I have to let him know all of it.

His head turns away, looking across the expanse of water. The tears have stopped, but his face is still sad. If I tell him it'll only make things worse. Even if I wanted to tell, I couldn't do that to him. I drop my head only to find Gohan is holding it up, looking down at me. He doesn't say a word, his eyes say everything he wants to say.

A short nod and I break down. I tell him everything and everything about me and my fucked up life. One word and the rest tumbled out after it. I want to stop, but I cant. I don't know why, but there's something forcing me not to.

The tears pour as the story flows, nothing stopping either of them. I tell him about getting back to my time. About Cell. About mother… The arms around me pull me tighter, offering what comfort and support they can. I tell him about her burial. I tell him about the events that lead me to finding Sengen and Suchi…

Then I freeze. I can't tell him the rest. I can't tell him about what happened to me once I joined up with them. I've already told him too much. This'll only hurt him.

I can feel my body starting to shiver and it's not because of me crying. I haven't had a chance to refresh myself. My body needs another shot, but I can't do it. Gohan is right next to me and it doesn't seem like he'll be letting go any time soon. I'm going to be forced to, but what can I say?

Raising my eyes slowly, I find him watching me, eyes full of sadness, or is it pity? My eyes quickly snap shut and my head turns away. I can't watch him now. I can't take his pity. Everything happened and I can't change it now. I can't change my past, so why bother living in it?

The arms unwrap themselves from me as Gohan places me down, moving over to the waters edge. I watch his movements, unable to look away. I want to leave, but my body betrays me. It won't work, it wont let me stand up and go.

He heads back over to me, something in his hand. A cloth, a damp cloth. It's blue, the same colour as the Gi he's wearing. He stops in front of me, crouching down to my level. A hesitant hand reaches out, wiping my face carefully. My gaze lifts slightly, looking up to his eyes before shying away. I don't know why he's doing this, why he's trying to help me.

'Trunks…' He sighs heavily, before tossing the cloth away, looking over to it as it drops to the earth again. I watch, not wanting to see the look on Gohan's face. I know exactly what's going to come next.

'We all care too much about you to let you do this to yourself. Please Trunks, just…..stop this….' My body begins to shiver and I can't stop it. I think he knows why though as I soon feel his arms back round me, holding me firmly, but carefully in place.

'Where are they?' His warm breath tickles my ear but I wince slightly at the words. Shakily, I reach into my pocket, drawing out the few sticks I brought with me. I watch with morbid curiosity as my sleeve is rolled back. His hand rubs the crook of my elbow as the other brings round a single stick, injecting its sweet heat into me.

'It's alright…..just relax……I'm here for you…..' The last words I hear before sleep overtakes me… 


End file.
